Last year I went on a cruise, met some guy, and one night we ended up sitting on the floor of his room not talking at all.
I mean it was completely silent for a good 15 minutes.
Both of us just sat together while our minds wondered.
Then all of a sudden he leaned in to kiss me,
So I told him I was gay.
And he said, “me too”.
Then we sat in silence for another 10 minutes before I decided to get up and leave
No one seems to understand what my anxiety is like.
When I have no words to speak, but tears to shed.
To put it in a visual sense, my anxiety is a flock of birds flying above me, swooping down one by one, each coming close to pecking my skin, but not quite touching me.
As they fly up, they shit on my face before I can see the bird, taking my words with them.
It happens faster and faster, each one coming closer and closer to pecking my skin or taking my eye out.
I search for the birds that have flown away, trying to recall my words.
Explaining what my anxiety is from or why I’m mad is difficult when the birds are flying towards me one by one at 150 mph, shitting on my face, and flying away, without me ever seeing them to explain what they looked like.
